Ted Haggard!

My obsession with Ted Haggard continues.

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Ted Haggard!

You know how I love Ted. Well, GQ has a new piece on him, and he remains just as fascinating as ever. (Although there are way more details on his masturbatory habits than I care to know about.) A member of his previous church, New Life, sums up my view on the Reverend:

"I think Ted genuinely loves God, and I think he has a sincere interest in helping people, but I don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth."

Some other intriguing nuggets:

"Here's where I really am on this issue," he half whispers. "I think that probably, if I were 21 in this society, I would identify myself as a bisexual." After a weekend of Ted trying to convince me of his unambiguous devotion to his wife and kids, I'm at first too surprised to say anything.

"So why not now?" I ask finally.

"Because, Kevin, I'm 54, with children, with a belief system, and I can have enforced boundaries in my life. Just like you're a heterosexual but you don't have sex with every woman that you're attracted to, so I can be who I am and exclusively have sex with my wife and be perfectly satisfied."

After the final amen, I strike up a conversation with Wing, Guy, and Art, three parishioners who come every week to stock up on Ted's encouragement. Wing was evicted from his house after falling behind on payments, and he's been living out of his car for the past two weeks. Guy's wife left him last week, taking their daughters with her. Art, a burly Hispanic man in a sleeveless shirt, was addicted to meth when his brother told him about a new church with an unconventional pastor.

"At first I thought, Man, I don't wanna go to no faggot's church," Art says. "But the first day I was here, Pastor Ted looked at me and said, 'You've been struggling with drugs, haven't you? Today you walk free.' I haven't touched it since."

Part of what these guys love about St. James is that it helps struggling people in real, tangible ways. During the offering, when most churches pass the plate, Ted instead has his saints give money to one another. Today the gifts included a $500 donation to fix one man's car and money for another man to pay his electricity bill.

Ted Haggard

Oh my god, y'all! Ted Haggard is coming to TLC! He is my very favorite disgraced closet case. I hope it's on Hulu!

Ted Haggard: A Morality Tale

Man, do I love Ted Haggard. He's already grown his backyard barn church into a 200-person congregation that's moved into a bigger space. I've followed him through his spectacular fall, his search for grace and forgiveness, and his new start. I would give just about anything to spend a day inside his head and see what he really thinks about God, redemption, love, and sexuality, and how he sees himself fitting into all of it.

I find him compellingly complex, endlessly charming, and totally enigmatic. Is he delusional? Is he a self-aware charlatan? Take these two pieces from the above linked Wall Street Journal interview:

"Tiger Woods needs to golf. Michael Vick needs to be playing football," Mr. Haggard said as his new congregation joined him and Gayle in their backyard for a post-worship picnic. Little kids, shrieking with joy, splashed in the pool. Men grilled burgers. Women set out chicken salad.

"Ted Haggard," Mr. Haggard said, "needs to be leading a church."

and

"I over-repented," he said. . . . He portrays his encounter with the prostitute as a massage that went awry and said he doesn't have same-sex attractions.

That's got to be a flat-out lie. I just cannot believe that he is that delusional. But then I also think he sincerely wants to lead his flock to the Truth. So...he tells himself this little lie is OK for the greater good?? I don't know! That's why I love him.

To me, Ted Haggard and his life are the real-world version of a fabulously written TV show. He could have easily been written by Matt Weiner (Mad Men) or Mark Olsen and Will Scheffer (Big Love). He's a compelling character with massive personality flaws that are not ever fully grasped or understood by either the character or the audience. And played out in the battle with himself are the narratives and questions of religion, politics, and humanity. Somebody definitely deserves an Emmy for this.

Ted's New Church

My favorite disgraced gay evangelical is starting a new church, in defiance of his old church. Good luck, Ted. Don't be a homo-hater, or I'll have to find a new favorite disgraced gay evangelical. They're not in short supply, so it shouldn't be too hard.

Oh, Ted

Ted Haggard has those pesky gay urges all under control, according to his wife. When the Ted Haggard scandal first broke, I felt like he'd received his comeuppance and deserved it for his hypocrisy. Since then, I've taken a more compassionate view on the subject. Even before I saw Alexandra Pelosi's The Trials of Ted Haggard documentary, I was contemplating the impossible position of having to choose between one's religion and one's sexuality. Men like Ted Haggard truly regard themselves--their core beings--as sinful, dirty, and perhaps irredeemable.

I have less compassion--although it is still there--for the closeted homosexuals who are the most vociferous supporters of anti-gay legislation and action. Rev. Haggard, however, was not a hateful type of preacher. He preached about seeing one of his flock going into a gay bar and of his attempts to bring the man back into the fold--not with hellfire and condemnation, but with love and forgiveness.

Pelosi's documentary humanizes Haggard, and I came to sympathize with his internal battle. He probably loves his wife very much and struggles to feel the kind of passion for her he knows he's supposed to feel. Despite his message of forgiveness, the church he built from the ground up cut him a check and kicked him out. They kicked him out not only of the church, but the entire state. Whose Christianity is that?

Supporters of gay rights are quick to point out such a lack of compassion on the part of the religious right, but also quick to vilify the Ted Haggards and Larry Craigs of the world. They, too, deserve compassion and, should they ever come seeking it: forgiveness.