Oh, Ted

Ted Haggard has those pesky gay urges all under control, according to his wife. When the Ted Haggard scandal first broke, I felt like he'd received his comeuppance and deserved it for his hypocrisy. Since then, I've taken a more compassionate view on the subject. Even before I saw Alexandra Pelosi's The Trials of Ted Haggard documentary, I was contemplating the impossible position of having to choose between one's religion and one's sexuality. Men like Ted Haggard truly regard themselves--their core beings--as sinful, dirty, and perhaps irredeemable.

I have less compassion--although it is still there--for the closeted homosexuals who are the most vociferous supporters of anti-gay legislation and action. Rev. Haggard, however, was not a hateful type of preacher. He preached about seeing one of his flock going into a gay bar and of his attempts to bring the man back into the fold--not with hellfire and condemnation, but with love and forgiveness.

Pelosi's documentary humanizes Haggard, and I came to sympathize with his internal battle. He probably loves his wife very much and struggles to feel the kind of passion for her he knows he's supposed to feel. Despite his message of forgiveness, the church he built from the ground up cut him a check and kicked him out. They kicked him out not only of the church, but the entire state. Whose Christianity is that?

Supporters of gay rights are quick to point out such a lack of compassion on the part of the religious right, but also quick to vilify the Ted Haggards and Larry Craigs of the world. They, too, deserve compassion and, should they ever come seeking it: forgiveness.