Nailed to the Cross

Penitent Filipinos nailed to crosses in Good Friday rite rejected by Catholic church leaders

Westboro

Ugh, these people. The BBC has a documentary about them. At the moment, the videos are up on YouTube and you can watch them here. It's...interesting. In some ways, listening to them talk, you can forget that they are such hateful terrible people who antagonize others at their lowest, most painful moments. You can't, however, forget that they have a warped view of Christianity.

Low Blood Pressure Problems?

I have the solution!!! It gets really awesome around 1:10.

National Prayer Day

What I have learned from the following video is that prayer causes weather patterns? Or maybe that lack of prayer causes weather patterns? Or that weather patterns are a good reason to pray?

Just for the record, I don't have anything against prayer. I think it's incredibly helpful and comforting to billions of people. I just find this overproduced video amusing.

Ted Haggard!

My obsession with Ted Haggard continues.

(Thanks AD)

Haha

See Jesus and Mo for some wildly un-PC comics. I have only read a couple, so if there are some truly offensive ones, then sorry about that. And I guess by truly offensive, I mean "not funny."

And the iPhone Shall Absolve You

You may not have the Pope's organs. You may, however, confess your sins to your iPhone (until you find an actual priest).

(Thanks, SBHB)

Ted Haggard!

You know how I love Ted. Well, GQ has a new piece on him, and he remains just as fascinating as ever. (Although there are way more details on his masturbatory habits than I care to know about.) A member of his previous church, New Life, sums up my view on the Reverend:

"I think Ted genuinely loves God, and I think he has a sincere interest in helping people, but I don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth."

Some other intriguing nuggets:

"Here's where I really am on this issue," he half whispers. "I think that probably, if I were 21 in this society, I would identify myself as a bisexual." After a weekend of Ted trying to convince me of his unambiguous devotion to his wife and kids, I'm at first too surprised to say anything.

"So why not now?" I ask finally.

"Because, Kevin, I'm 54, with children, with a belief system, and I can have enforced boundaries in my life. Just like you're a heterosexual but you don't have sex with every woman that you're attracted to, so I can be who I am and exclusively have sex with my wife and be perfectly satisfied."

After the final amen, I strike up a conversation with Wing, Guy, and Art, three parishioners who come every week to stock up on Ted's encouragement. Wing was evicted from his house after falling behind on payments, and he's been living out of his car for the past two weeks. Guy's wife left him last week, taking their daughters with her. Art, a burly Hispanic man in a sleeveless shirt, was addicted to meth when his brother told him about a new church with an unconventional pastor.

"At first I thought, Man, I don't wanna go to no faggot's church," Art says. "But the first day I was here, Pastor Ted looked at me and said, 'You've been struggling with drugs, haven't you? Today you walk free.' I haven't touched it since."

Part of what these guys love about St. James is that it helps struggling people in real, tangible ways. During the offering, when most churches pass the plate, Ted instead has his saints give money to one another. Today the gifts included a $500 donation to fix one man's car and money for another man to pay his electricity bill.

Dumb Shit or Satirist?

We Need a Christian Dictator
Uploaded by OnKneesforJesus. - News videos hot off the press.
I couldn't be bothered to look up whether this idiot is for reals or not. But, man, is he a hoot and a half, or what?

Joel Osteen, His Giant Teeth, & The Gays

Church Stripped of Catholic Affiliation for Abortion

St. Joseph's hospital -- Phoenix's oldest -- has been stripped of its association with Catholic church by Bishop Olmstead. The reason? The hospital performed an abortion for a woman who was in her 11th week of pregnancy. She developed pulmonary hypertension and would have died without the procedure. The church allows "indirect abortion" in such cases, where a fetus dies because of a necessary secondary procedure, but does not allow a direct abortion, which is what happened in this case. The Sisters of Mercy who run the hospital stand by their decision.

I offer you a passage from the bible (Matthew 12:11) that seems relevant.

And he said unto them, What man shall there be among you, that shall have one sheep, and if it fall into a pit on the sabbath day, will he not lay hold on it, and lift it out?

That's Jesus responding to the Pharisees who were trying to trap him & asked him whether it was lawful to heal on the Sabbath day. I think the same principle applies -- who would not perform an abortion when the outcome if you don't is the death of both the mother and the child?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T Authority!

These kids are going to be so embarrassed about this in 10 years. I think the current school-age generation should be called Generation Why the Hell Did My Parents Let Me Upload That to YouTube.

Sarah Palin is a True American

because she understands the need to be a hateful bitch about everything, but most recently about that mosque. Wonkette expresses my feelings well. Here is an excerpt:

Somebody is not getting it! Somebody is being insensitive! Perhaps with some education, Sarah Palin could understand that “those Muslims” are Americans. And perhaps she might understand that the mosque that is ALREADY THERE gets pretty crowded! That is one reason why it would be good to put another one in this location! And perhaps she can understand that cities are places where people are not just white and Christian! And perhaps, for a fucking second, she can try to understand how it feels when somebody hates you and associates you with terrorists because of your religion or your name or the color of your skin, even though you love your country. And then perhaps she can understand that she does not live in this fucking neighborhood and has no idea what should or should not be built there. There is probably a crazy homeless man who masturbates at the World Trade Center site every day, but she has no idea.

*Apologies about the language for the easily offended.

Stoning

Two young lovers are stoned to death by relatives and villagers in a Taliban-controlled area of Afghanistan. There are no words for this.

The Mormon PR Machine

Ted Haggard: A Morality Tale

Man, do I love Ted Haggard. He's already grown his backyard barn church into a 200-person congregation that's moved into a bigger space. I've followed him through his spectacular fall, his search for grace and forgiveness, and his new start. I would give just about anything to spend a day inside his head and see what he really thinks about God, redemption, love, and sexuality, and how he sees himself fitting into all of it.

I find him compellingly complex, endlessly charming, and totally enigmatic. Is he delusional? Is he a self-aware charlatan? Take these two pieces from the above linked Wall Street Journal interview:

"Tiger Woods needs to golf. Michael Vick needs to be playing football," Mr. Haggard said as his new congregation joined him and Gayle in their backyard for a post-worship picnic. Little kids, shrieking with joy, splashed in the pool. Men grilled burgers. Women set out chicken salad.

"Ted Haggard," Mr. Haggard said, "needs to be leading a church."

and

"I over-repented," he said. . . . He portrays his encounter with the prostitute as a massage that went awry and said he doesn't have same-sex attractions.

That's got to be a flat-out lie. I just cannot believe that he is that delusional. But then I also think he sincerely wants to lead his flock to the Truth. So...he tells himself this little lie is OK for the greater good?? I don't know! That's why I love him.

To me, Ted Haggard and his life are the real-world version of a fabulously written TV show. He could have easily been written by Matt Weiner (Mad Men) or Mark Olsen and Will Scheffer (Big Love). He's a compelling character with massive personality flaws that are not ever fully grasped or understood by either the character or the audience. And played out in the battle with himself are the narratives and questions of religion, politics, and humanity. Somebody definitely deserves an Emmy for this.

And They Shall Surely Be Put To Death

A poster from Maggie Gallagher's National Organization For Marriage's bus-tour campaign in Indiana. (Link from Sullivan.)

Here are some other relevant biblical quotations I'd like someone to put on a poster (KJV):

Matthew 5:31-32.

It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I [that's Jesus, folks] say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Leviticus 20:10.

And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

And here is an interview with one of the Traditional Marriage people. Some things to note: his physical revulsion in response to a man he thinks is gay (or just a gay supporter?) compared to his not as-hatey-as-it-could-be language. And hang around for the whole thing. It takes a FASCINATING turn around the 3 minute mark.

Religion & Recession

"No Atheists in Foxholes and Other Myths of the Recession" -- a quick, easy read about the association between church attendance & the economy.

Abandon All Logic, Ye Who Enter Here

Some really awesome Americans, who are probably more "real American" than I am, have decided that it would be cool to burn Qurans on 9/11 this year. I know Jesus would be all over that. He loved getting his hate on.

Madonna, Gaga, & Religion

Lady Gaga is no Madonna. For one, she can actually sing. But that's not the point of Mark Judge. He argues that Lady Gaga's video for "Alejandro" is cheap, stale blasphemy, whereas Madonna's "Like a Prayer" video was "an intelligent and even devout meditation on grace, love and conscience." Worth a read.