Huckabee Burns Beck

There are lots (and lots) of problems with Mike Huckabee. But I think he's pretty smart, he's pretty charming, and more importantly, he writes stuff like this:

This week Glenn Beck has taken to his radio show to attack me as a Progressive, which he has said is the same as a “cancer” and a “Nazi.” What did I do that apparently caused him to link me to a fatal disease and a form of government that murdered millions of innocent Jews? I had the audacity—not of hope—but the audacity to give respect to the efforts of First Lady Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move campaign to address childhood obesity. I’m no fan of her husband’s policies for sure, but I have appreciated her efforts that Beck misrepresented—either out of ignorance or out of a deliberate attempt to distort them to create yet another “boogey man” hiding in the closet that he and only he can see. The First Lady’s approach is about personal responsibility—not the government literally taking candy from a baby’s mouth. He seems to fancy himself a prophet of sorts for his linking so many people and events together to describe a massive global conspiracy for pretty much everything. Sadly, he seems equally inept at recognizing the obvious fact that children are increasingly obese and that we now see clinical evidence of diseases in children that as recent as 20 years ago were found only in adults, such as Type 2 diabetes. The costs to our nation are staggering in increase health care expenses, but it even effects national security with now 75% of young men between the ages of 17 and 24 are unfit for military service primarily due to obesity! His ridiculous claim that John McCain and I collaborated and conspired in the 2008 campaign is especially laughable. Is he not aware that McCain and I were competitors—not cohorts? Beck needs to stick to conspiracies that can’t be so easily de-bunked by facts. Why Beck has decided to aim his overloaded guns on me is beyond me. But he ought to clean his gun and point it more carefully lest it blow up in his face like it did this time.

Oh, Don

Donald Rumsfeld has released a whole bunch of everything, including delightfully bitchy emails, to coincide with the release of his book. Esquire has sifted through some of them, and gives us the following sampling:

The "My Time Is More Valuable Than Yours" Note

- - -
October 26, 200l
TO: Honorable Condoleezza Rice
FROM: Donald Rumsfeld
SUBJECT: Schedule

It isn't possible to have a 7:15 a.m. phone call, an NSC meeting and then two PC meetings in one day. That takes most of the day.

I need time with my staff. Let's try to figure out a different way to do our business…

The "Do You Think You're On Entourage?!" Note

- - -
December 13, 200l
TO: Honorable Condoleezza Rice
FROM: Donald Rumsfeld
SUBJECT: PC Meeting

We just had the Principals Committee meeting on Iran and Russia. At the last minute, we were told not to bring the “plus one.” I arrive, and I see you have Steve Hadley, Bob Joseph, Robin Cleveland, and Al Gonzales there-and I am like a one-armed paperhanger.

I am going to start bringing “plus one” to my meetings at the White House, unless there is just an enormously good reason not to. I sure cannot imagine what it would have been on that meeting, particularly since there were so many people in the room anyway…

The "You're Terrible At Your Job And You Can't Even Explain Why, Dumbass" Note

- - -
May 20, 2002
TO: Honorable Condoleezza Rice
FROM: Donald Rumsfeld
SUBJECT: Moscow Proposals

I just saw this article from the London Times saying, “President Bush will propose . . . that Russia and the United States join forces to develop the controversial Star Wars missile defense system . . .”

What is that about?

Second, I have asked repeatedly for a copy of these other documents that are supposedly going to be dealt with by President Putin and President Bush in Moscow. I still haven't seen a copy of anything other than the treaty. I need to see them. Please get them over to me.

Thank you.

The "She's Either Dumb, Deaf, or Secretly British, and Therefore, an Obtuse Asshole" Note

- - -
August 22, 2002
TO: Paul Wolfowitz [Deputy Secretary of Defense]
FROM: Donald Rumsfeld
SUBJECT:

Call Condi Rice. She said to me that we have got to get the detainee mess sorted out, that nobody is able to get answers. I think she is getting this from the UK. Call her and find out what she is talking about. She always comes in with these cryptic messages as thought [sic] the Pentagon is messed up, and I don't have any idea what she is talking about…

The "You're Such an Idiot You Can't Even Run a Schedule" Note

- - -
October 4, 2002
TO: Honorable Condoleezza Rice
FROM: Donald Rumsfeld
SUBJECT: North Korea

I thought you told the President in my meeting that there werent going to be any meals at the North Korean event. I notice they had one or two dinners.

Thanks.

The "How I Subvert Your Time-Sucking Meetings" Note

- - -
October 30, 2003
TO: Honorable Condoleezza Rice
FROM: Donald Rumsfeld
SUBJECT: NSC Meetings

We have an NSC meeting scheduled for Monday with no subject. I like to be prepared for meetings, but if we don't have the subject of the meeting a working day ahead of time, then there is no way for us to be prepared…

The "You're Not Early Enough For Us, Slackass" Note

- - -
November 5, 2003
TO: Honorable Condoleezza Rice
FROM: Donald Rumsfeld
SUBJECT: Agendas and Schedules for PC and NSC Meetings

…If you want people from DoD to do something, please tell us that, not in the meeting, but the day before—and we will do our best…

The "And By Tactical Errors She Means 'My Bad Hair Days'" Note

- - -
April 04, 2006
TO: Stephen J Hadley [National Security Advisor]
FROM: Donald Rumsfeld

I think we better get some talking points on what Condi thinks she meant when she said we have made "thousands of tactical errors."

I keep getting asked the question, and I don't know the answer. I don't know what she had in mind.

Thanks.

Shame, Boatloads of Shame

The Wisconsin Statehouse seems like a really unpleasant place to work these days.

Abortion & Government

I don't know who you are, Mr. Weiner, but I'm a fan. And definitely watch to the end.

CIA doesn't know how to tweet

The CIA gets yelled at for not anticipating the Egyptian revolution. Their main problem? They weren't monitoring Twitter and Facebook. They should go hire some whipper snappers to take care of that. I imagine the following conversation between a recent hire and his mother:

Mom: "Oh, that's swell sweetie. Congrats on your new grown-up job. Can you take out the trash?"

CIA Twitter Guy: "Mooooom. I'm like a spy now. You can't ask a spy to take out the trash. I'm super important now."

Mom: "Oh bullshit. You're just getting paid to read those dumb twats or tweets or whatever the hell they are because no one else wants such a tedious and lame job. Now take out the trash."

CIA Twitter Guy: [Grumble, grumble] "Fine."

Oh, sweet progress!

Oh, The Onion

Republicans Vote To Repeal Obama-Backed Bill That Would Destroy Asteroid Headed For Earth

What's up with Egypt?

A primer.

Word Cloud

A Dish reader created word clouds from the Arizona speeches by Palin & Obama.

It's the difference between a political speech and a eulogy.

Sarah Palin is a True American

because she understands the need to be a hateful bitch about everything, but most recently about that mosque. Wonkette expresses my feelings well. Here is an excerpt:

Somebody is not getting it! Somebody is being insensitive! Perhaps with some education, Sarah Palin could understand that “those Muslims” are Americans. And perhaps she might understand that the mosque that is ALREADY THERE gets pretty crowded! That is one reason why it would be good to put another one in this location! And perhaps she can understand that cities are places where people are not just white and Christian! And perhaps, for a fucking second, she can try to understand how it feels when somebody hates you and associates you with terrorists because of your religion or your name or the color of your skin, even though you love your country. And then perhaps she can understand that she does not live in this fucking neighborhood and has no idea what should or should not be built there. There is probably a crazy homeless man who masturbates at the World Trade Center site every day, but she has no idea.

*Apologies about the language for the easily offended.

Tax Cuts

More here.

Dogs Chasing Cars

Here is a great article titled, "Confessions of a Tea Party Casualty," about Republican Bob Inglis who lost his Congressional primary race in South Carolina. A sampling:

While he was campaigning, Inglis says, tea party activists and conservative voters kept pushing him to describe Obama as a "socialist." But, he says, "It's a dangerous strategy to build conservatism on information and policies that are not credible...This guy is no socialist." He continues:

The word is designed to have emotional charge to it. Throughout my primary, there were people insisting that I use the word. They would ask me if he was a socialist, and I would always find some other word. I'd say, "President Obama wants a very large government that I don't think will work and that spends too much and it's inefficient and it compromises freedom and it's not the way we want to go." They would listen for the word, wait to see if I used the s-word, and when I didn't, you could see the disappointment.

Why not give these voters what they wanted? Inglis says he wasn't willing to lie:

I refused to use the word because I have this view that the Ninth Commandment must mean something. I remember one year Bill Clinton—the guy I was out to get [when serving on the House judiciary committee in the 1990s]—at the National Prayer Breakfast said something that was one of the most profound things I've ever heard from anybody at a gathering like that. He said, "The most violated commandment in Washington, DC"—everybody leaned in; do tell, Mr. President—"is, 'Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor.'" I thought, "He's right. That is the most violated commandment in Washington." For me to go around saying that Barack Obama is a socialist is a violation of the Ninth Commandment. He is a liberal fellow. I'm conservative. We disagree...But I don't need to call him a socialist, and I hurt the country by doing so. The country has to come together to find a solution to these challenges or else we go over the cliff.

and

With Boehner and others chasing after the tea party, he says, "that's going to be the dog that catches the car." He quickly adds: "And the Democrats, if they go into the minority, are going to have an enjoyable couple of years watching that dog deal with the car it's caught."

Levi vs Sarah: Smackdown Raw

A rundown of the shit stirring Levi has done regarding his future mother-in-law. Ain't families grand?

BIOB: Blame It On Bush

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Blame
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Hell, I say Blame Canada!

Whoopsies

California welfare recipients withdrew $1.8 million at casinos over 8 months, using their state-issued debit cards. The losers who did this will undoubtedly fuel the conservatives who bemoan welfare as handouts. First, this occurrence would certainly seem like a valid argument against a debit card method of welfare. Second, and more importantly, these withdrawals accounted for about 1% of the total withdrawals. That's a lot--no doubt--but whatever system you use, you'll have losers. A more conservative approach will increase the number of deserving, hardworking families who can't get the brief leg-up they need. A more liberal approach will increase the number of wasteful leeches who really just want a handout. I would argue that a 1% waste-rate is better than shoving deserving families into further poverty. (Again, however, the government should have been aware that these debit cards were being used for gambling before now!)

"American news media finally realized they kind of suck."

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
McChrystal's Balls - Honorable Discharge
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Maddow on Republican Strategy

I got a little bored toward the end, but the first 5 minutes is good stuff (and some past there too).

Oil Dependence

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
An Energy-Independent Future
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

"We've redefined success and still failed."

Tsk, Tsk, Rand Paul

Turns out that "board-certified" ophthalmologist Rand Paul isn't really board certified. At least not by the only board that is recognized. He's certified by a board that he founded in 1999. That seems wrong on so many levels. I thought this Paul character was a principled guy who just has a completely different view of reality than I do. I believed him when he said he wasn't a racist. Well, I'll stand by that -- he's probably still not a racist. But is a liar. Or a truth-stretcher, if you will. Not cool, Rand Paul. Not cool at all.

Obama Calls Palin

Amusing.

Politicians and their mics

Goodness gracious. When will people learn that they should watch themselves whenever they are ANYWHERE near a mic or a camera? It could be on, people!

Here's Carly Fiorina making fun of Barbara Boxer's hair. It happens in the last 20 seconds or so. Forward to about 4:00. I like the look on her face when I presume that someone off camera reminds her that she's being recorded. (Also, from earlier in the tape...Carly, learn to cover your mouth when you yawn.)