The Constitution: Real & Imagined

The Onion has a great article whose title conveys the content: Area Man Passionate Defender of What He Imagines Constitution To Be.

"Our very way of life is under siege," said Mortensen, whose understanding of the Constitution derives not from a close reading of the document but from talk-show pundits, books by television personalities, and the limitless expanse of his own colorful imagination.

Then the New York Times Magazine has an article called How Christian Were the Founders? that is actually about the Texas State Board of Education. As it turns out, Texas is one of the most influential boards of education. They buy 48 million textbooks a year, which encourages publishers to produce books in line with Texas guidelines. They are also one of the most conservative boards in the country. The view of one of the board members:

“The underlying authority for our constitutional form of government stems directly from biblical precedents,” she writes. “Hence, the only accurate method of ascertaining the intent of the Founding Fathers at the time of our government’s inception comes from a biblical worldview.”

The article discusses the various religious views the school board has tried to inject into the public schools, some actual history about the founding of our nation, and a little bit about the Liberty Law School. A long, but interesting read.

So Many Hitlers!

A letter to the Washington Times from a retired Marine:

A small group of German officers opposed the loyalty oath to Hitler despite great political pressure. They courageously honored and respected the moral and institutional values they represented and knew to be right. We who are Marines are proud to see that our commandant has shown similar courage in the face of political pressure to allow avowed homosexuals to become Marines.

A cold chill shivers down the spines of men when they contemplate the physical acts of homosexual behavior. It is important the American people know that their Marines, and our commandant, have spine enough to notice and oppose this folly. I hope they will honor the many generations of Marines who sacrificed for American freedom and will remember to vote for and support those who will work to "keep our honor clean."

Semper Fidelis.

COL. ART CORBETT

So many things! First, the good news. This is written by an old fart! Old farts will die someday and take their homophobic ideals with them to the grave. Moving on. When will people learn that comparisons to Hitler are never accurate. I mean, unless you are talking about someone like Idi Amin, Hitler is just a bad metaphor. Does Col. Corbett really think that allowing out gays in the military (note: closeted gays are already allowed) is the same as overseeing the murder of millions of people? Really?

Next point, Colonel. Why is it homosexuals' fault that when you think of them, you automatically think of sex? Thinking of your wrinkly ass getting it on grosses me out, so let's strip you of whatever honors you earned as a Marine. Or is it that you always think of people of having sex, no matter what? Do you get a "warm shiver" somewhere other than your spine whenever you look at heterosexuals because you're thinking of their sex lives? Did that constant erection get in the way of your military duties?

Robert Gibbs is Funny

Look! Gibbs has to write notes on his hands too!

String Theory

I know nothing about physics or, really, any of the natural sciences. I haven't taken a science class since my junior year of high school. (I blame my college for not making me take one.) But, I really like reading science theories & findings for lay-people (that is, dummies.) I thought Brian Greene's The Elegant Universe--which could be complete bullshit for all I know--was fascinating. We're just made of a bunch strings vibrating in 10-dimensional space. That's interesting, right? Anyway, here's a little video of string theory for morons, like myself.

*Head Explodes*

Fun Graph

Rate of job loss in Bush & Obama administrations.

Palin's Notes

Apparently, Palin wrote her buzzwords for her Tea Party speech on her hand. Nice. Very professional.

Breeding Like Rabbits

Robben Island, where Nelson Mandela spent 18 of his years in prison, is a World Heritage Site and is being threatened by rabbits...a lot of rabbits. They are burrowing beneath the buildings and eaten the greenery. To help control the population, two hunters go out at night and shoot them -- up to 25 an hour. Can you imagine that being your job? Protecting a national landmark from a bunch of horny rabbits?

The Choking Game

Researchers are shocked, SHOCKED, that kids even know about the choking game, let alone are actually involved in it. Where did these people go to school? I learned about it from my mom (thanks, ma!), and pretty much everyone at my school knew about it. The method at my school for getting high by starving brain cells of oxygen (kids are so dumb) was to head bang and then have someone press on your chest. The only thing I find surprising is the relatively low number of kids who claim to know about it (1 in 3). I think some of them are liars.

Watch your heart on superbowl day

Heart attacks increase on Super Bowl day and in the 1-2 weeks after, particularly if it is a close game. Your team's performance really could kill you.