Friday, April 2, 2010

The Self-Esteem Illusion

An article for my mom, who has always railed against the cult of self-esteem.

In short, self-esteem is but a division of self-importance, which is seldom an attractive quality. That person is best who never thinks of his own importance: to think about it, even, is to be lost to morality.

1 comment:

Alice from Alabama said...

Your mother appreciates and thanks you for this article.

This is one of the major reasons that I have had with the political left, even though 98% (probably 99%) would call me far left of center. I honestly believe that this narcissistic focus on ourselves is destroying our society. I know lots of liberals who work hard, are self-examining, who expect a high level of societal concern and focus from themselves. Unfortunately, we don't know how to articulate our concern without sounding like the far right so too often we are silent.

I think that the trend was originally based in real needs (like some labor unions who now seem destructive from a societal viewpoint) and that some changes were needed in child rearing so that parents could be more sensitive to the impact that they have on their children. Being aware is far different, however, from being centered on that child and leading her to believe that she is the center of the universe and has that position as her inalienable right. "Free to Be...You and Me" has morphed into "Free to Be...Me, Me, Me."

I totally agree with the author. No one can give another person self-respect. It must be earned and it must generally be earned by learning self-discipline and sticking to things that seem pretty hard at the time. This is not hard stuff or rocket science, but is increasingly missing from child rearing and from the political discussion.

This is one thing that I liked about President Obama as a candidate -- that he would say to a rapper "You need to pull up your pants and act right" and to his audience "We need to start to look out for one another and be engaged with our community and quit expecting a free ride from Govt." Ok, both paraphrases, but it's the gist.

Societally, we need a big does of John Rosemond and less Dr. Spock to the nth power.